Going nowhere
FAST
and no one to
blame
but myself.
I guess I let
life
get to me.
Not enough
faith
pride
courage
balls.
The clock has been
ticking
tick
tock
I've run out of
time.
It's just a little too
late
to change my
mind.
Because that wouldn't be
fair.
You wouldn't know
what to do.
If I wasn't
there.
I would like to say it's
your
and your
and your fault.
But lets not lie.
This is my life.
My decisions.
My actions.
And now my consequences.
I have no choice but to accept the
responsibilty.
To find another way
To get to point B
from point A
with a couple of detours
in between.

The Journey

By: Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

What you had to do, and began,

Though the voices around you

Kept shouting

Their bad advice,

Though the whole house

Began to tremble

And you felt the old tug

At your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

Each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

Though the wind pried

With its stiff fingers

At the very foundations,

Though their melancholy

Was terrible.

It was already late

Enough, and a wild night

And the road full of fallen

Branches and stones.

But little by little,

As you left their voices behind,

The stars began to burn 

Through the sheets of clouds,

And there was a new voice,

Which you slowly

Recognized as your own,

That kept you company

As you strode deeper and deeper

Into the world,

Determined to do

The only thing you could do,

Determined to save 

The only life you could save.

Hearts

I will never forget today. Your little heart was beating so fast, I thought my own would explode.

Like The Air

I knew you where here.
Part of my being, of who I am.
But I couldn't see you.
Feel you.
Touch you.
Smell you.
Hear you.
Like the air.
Nothing....emptiness.
Scaring me to an endless measure.
Because I knew for you,
the disgusting love I was supposed to feel.
It wasn't there.
I feared I was failing already.
Failing at something that should come so naturally.
I would know a part of my anatomy is missing,
if I couldn't do this.
I started to doubt everything about myself I had known.
The depression of that dissapointment,
was like finding out there was no Santa Claus.
It was all lies.
And everything you had ever thought was wrong.
But there was a breeze.
And I felt the cool, fresh, release glide over my skin.
Playing with my hair.
The smallest of sensations through my body.
The tiny nudge I felt.
Like a little butterfly,
You let me know you where there.
Then with each punch, kick, and flip.
You started to prove me wrong all over again.
I started to believe in you, and in me.
I might just be able to do this.
And I might just be GREAT at it too.
I started to feel that disgusting love I knew was there.

Drip

I thought this would be something to revel in. Together. I'm virgin to this phase of life that was supposed to be traveled together. Many do this on their own. Not usually by choice. I have you next to me, but you've been there before. The attractive, shiny, brightness of new has faded for you. While I feel every shock of emotion through this ten fold. Nothing more than a smile from you. Your like a leaky faucet...when I need Niagra Falls. Maybe it's supposed to be that way. To give me some balance. We both dare not go crazy. Who would keep the sense. Who cares about sense? I live for the days my head is ten feet above the clouds, and life feels like a dream that I could unfortunatley wake up from at any moment. Why can't we stay there? Pretend if you must.

How the hell do I fix this leaky faucet?